Hi, I’m Sarah and I’m a blog neglector. It’s been over two years since I wrote a post, isn’t it terrifying how time speeds up and your brain turns to mush. Quite a lot has happened in those two years but not enough to satisfy my impatience to reach full life satisfaction. I seem to have been going through a career change for a very long time and it’s reached boiling point. If I don’t find the right route soon I may very well disappear into the wilderness never to return. Or I might do that for a week and come back hungry, dirty, in need of wine, but feel like a new woman.
The biggest decision I made happened two weeks ago. I moved to Cardiff! The move was supposed to be a movie like transformation. New city, new me. Living in the sunny, tropical south (at least it is to me) was a chance to reinvent myself professionally, suddenly have the ability to whip up a Nigella style dish out of remnants in the cupboard, know instinctively what spices to use, walk around my flower garden in a beautiful dress that I had made out of ethically sourced materials carrying a twee basket to collect the eggs lain by our two chickens who are house trained and like to sit on my lap whilst I read a book, the important paragraphs I miraculously remember. And of course be able to stick to a strict schedule that I have set for myself five days a week.
My dreams were shattered I tell you. As soon as I moved down, sorted out my room and relaxed a little bit I got ten mouth ulcers rendering me barely able to talk / eat / drink without dribbling over everyone and everything and being in immense pain. My back was so painful I couldn’t sit down for more than ten minutes without having to change position or stand up, and I developed a week long pain in my chest so ended up in A&E (It’s just acid but it FELT sinister). The cycle back from the hospital left me lost in a graveyard for so long I started to wonder if that’s how everyone else in there had died. We don’t have chickens yet because its been raining so much the last few days we haven’t been able to re assemble the huge coop we were given. Instead of flowers in the garden we have lovely scrap metal and thorny stems that are so big they threaten to behead anyone who isn’t paying attention, and the new recipe I attempted would have been delicious if only I had BOILED THE BLOODY RICE before frying and baking it in a butternut squash.
So this blog will basically be written evidence of my failures. I’ll try my best to be consistent.
Sarah x
Watch my comedy sketches on your lunchbreak here : Sarah’s really really good show !
Hiya. What you need to do is get to know some locals. Here are a few useful phrases for starting conversations:
1. Please will you look after my camel?
2. Would anyone mind if I brought my harp?
3. Do your chickens have difficulty with crosswords?
4. Could you lend me four squirrels and a bus pass?
5. Come with me land we will go and buy a horse.
Remember, things can only get better 😂
XXX
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Those are excellent convo starters and I will be sure to use these at professional networking events. They will definitely remember me. Thanks for the help ! xx
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Sounds like you’ve got off to a shakey start there Sarah, but it means the only way is up? 😉 oh…and at least you remembered the rice haha looking forward to the next blog post X x
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It started to go up today, yay ! Thanks Bridge x
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You write so beautifully my lanky love 😘 keep it up and always cook your rice before frying it. Rizzle x
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Haha ! Thanks Razia 🙂 x
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It is brought to our attention that the peoples of these sceptred isles abiding in the close knit terraced streets (inhabited by those same that toil with sweated brow and many a profane curse at the inequities of their fated roles) do suffer most wickedly from a lack of agreeable and necessary sustenance. Not for them the fresh fruits and vegetables of the countryside, the cooling zephyrs of a flowered meadow… for so beset is their existence that all of their resources (their meagre financial recompense) are bestowed on derivatives of opium, cocaine, hemp and alcohol. Thus they are temporarily relieved of reality and able to endure; sadly this misery is compounded by rickets, tuberculosis and scurvy…. like wot sarah ward has… Charles Dickens
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Dad I said leave a nice message.
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Well now I’m even MORE excited to visit! Can’t wait to get decapitated by a thorny stem. x
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I promise to keep this place in a dangerous condition just for you. x
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Great blog! Keep going! It will be a positive step! Like they say!
If you want a rainbow you have to put up with the rain! 😊
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There’s lots of rain in Britain, so there had best be a massive pot of gold waiting for me… ! x
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