I thought life in lock-down would go painfully slow, but it’s been the opposite. Even though I’m up early, the days seem to disappear, no matter what I do. Must be the curse of the being in your thirties. All this gardening is like a part time job. We’re basically running a daycare centre for plants. I understand why they’re called nurseries now. Some don’t play well with others, they may even try to strangle each other. They have differing taste buds, only they might die if you feed them the wrong thing, or grow them in the wrong pH. They grow so fast you have to get them new shoes often but they’ll take some time to settle into them. Like when my favourite pram was stolen; my mum went out to get the exact same pram so I wouldn’t be upset, but it wasn’t the same. The old one was better. It took me some time to accept this stranger into my life.
I’m working outside for the first time this year. We’ve put a table in the middle of the half finished pergola because the gale force winds have eased for the first time in two days. We only have the sun and the chickens to contend with now. If only we had a pool to contend with too. How do Californians get any work done? Seeing photos and videos of people quarantining in their big houses with big pools, makes me seriously think about why I choose to stay in Britain.
I’ve come across some good tunes that make me think of scenes in slow motion as I walk around the park. They’re usually very dramatic scenes. Fighting, running, galloping on a horse, nearly always saving someone from a terrible fate. No wonder my dad has said I should be an actress. Drama in real life is a no no, but pretend drama, yes please. I sometimes forget how powerful storytelling can be, despite the fact I consume a lot of stories, whether on paper, in audio or on the screen. It’s only when a story really influences me in some way, that I remember the power they hold. Billy Elliot changed the course of my life. I connected with it on a deep level and was so moved by the ending, that I left school to start dance training. I met some of my best friends studying dance at university, and went on to live and dance in New York and London, all because I saw the tape next to the television, and remembered dad saying that I should watch it. My dad and I do have excellent taste in films I must say.
It’s brilliant when you feel so inspired by a story that it urges you on with whatever it is you’ve been putting off. Or maybe it helps you make a big decision. But of course we can’t wait for inspiration. That’s a fatal mistake, because it may not come for a very long time. You have to find it. That’s something I’ve learnt that I think is vital for creative people to understand. Motivation is a load of garbage too. You’re probably never going to feel like it, so you’ve got to do it now. Force yourself in any way that works, before your brain tricks you into flight mode. Once you get some momentum, go with it for as long as possible. I spend way too much time writing these short blog posts. When you don’t feel like you’ve got anything interesting or entertaining to say, it’s really really difficult to write. Especially when others are going to read it. And especially when you have as many fans as I do. Whoa. Pressure to please the masses. Watching Becoming, the documentary following Michelle Obama on her book tour, reminded me of how much work I’m gonna have to put in, if I’m ever going to be able to eat in fancy restaurants, or get a house somewhere you can work outside all the time, or just, a house. If i’m ever going to be able to get any house ever.
Just learnt that wild birds and insects are also contenders. Dan just got a tiny poo on his laptop screen. Putting the roof on this pergola is now top priority. While the lads do that I’m going to figure out how to earn enough money to buy that house with a pool, ready to escape at the first whiff of the next pandemic.
Good luck on your hunt for paradise,
By the way, if you wake up in a bit of a funk, all you need to do is a Caribbean dance workout and you’ll feel happy. Or just video call your friends and watch them do it, that works too.