As I start my daily walk, I press play on Spotify and listen to Armchair Expert talk to Michael Moss, the Pulitzer prize-winning investigative journalist who’s written two books about the fast food industry and the lengths these companies go to, to get us to buy their products. I’m angry at the people whose job is to find more and more ways of getting us addicted, and feel like a fool as I sip on my first chocolate latte frappe of the year.
That feeling is short lived because it’s so delicious, and I got it with my free coffee voucher so I feel a bit smug about it. They didn’t get me, I got them. I did have to buy nine drinks in order to get this one free, but still, I feel victorious. Damn, these people are good. My first trip into town last week ended with three new loyalty cards for shops I hardly ever go to. I’m now dreading the day I get an email from Hotel Chocolat with an offer I simply won’t be able to refuse.
On my many walks around and around the park, I recently noticed I seem to be the only person having to flail my arms, close my eyes and blow raspberries several times on every circuit. 5’9″ is apparently the preferred height for clouds of flies to hang out. The exact height of my face. If they tasted like this frappe I wouldn’t mind, but they do not, and it brings back unpleasant insect related memories. The most recent being the bike ride where I made the dreadful mistake of applying lip balm before peddling off. I arrived at my destination with greenfly covered lips.
It seems things are after you where ever you go. Just remember, if you feel temptation near a shop, run away, keep your lips pressed firmly shut, and avoid the shaded area under the trees.
Watch my comedy sketches on your lunchbreak here : Sarah’s really really good show !